Reflections, year 2018

As yet another year draws to a close, I wanted to find a space to reflect on 2018. The funny thing is, I actually have a hard time finding a place to write down my thoughts. I have always written on a private blog in Chinese, but this year I have been so lost from my own language that I am not sure that I can connect to my other inner self.

This year zoomed by so quickly that I am not sure that I can recall all the months. The reason: work. This is the year where I have devoted much time and energy to my work. And at the end of the year, I can say that I feel satisfied with my performance without a doubt. I have made good progress as a leader, I can claim some research for myself, and I have handled it without damaging my home environment. On the other hand, in this process, I have lost that wondrous and creative self.

Several days ago, I did an interview with a researcher about my upbringing. As I talked about growing up in America, finding my career and self, I realized how I had slowly lost my creative self. Perhaps it is the time, perhaps it is the energy, or perhaps it is being out of that environment. There was a self in me that once wanted to be an artist, to make designs, to write fiction. That self has been lost in the day to day grind of answering questions, figuring out problems, and providing empathy.

Was it worth it? I still remember clearly the day that I made the decision. It was after a long shift volunteering at Keswick Nursing Home, where I helped elderly residents with making pottery. As I prepared dinner for myself in my lonesome studio, that was the moment that I decided, I wanted to be a cog in the giant clockwork that is our society. And without a doubt, my presence now in my work affects at least hundreds of people, if not more.

But alas, I am not so selfless. I mourn the loss of my creative time, the wondrous people who used to surround me, and the timeless moments where my thoughts flowed like water. We only live on this earth for so long, and I want more. I want to spend time with my beloved, giggling like children about the silliest things. I want to see this world of ours before it becomes a wasteland. I want to spend more time with family and friends, as each goodbye may be our last....

January: Flu was terrible. I spent a majority of my time doing more shifts and getting work done. Spent several days jack hammering the back yard and scooping out concrete blocks.

February: Hokkaido! Yuki no matsuri! While the snowfields of Niseko were not the largest, the dry powder was truly unforgettable. 

March: Visit to Tahoe. Stayed up until 2AM fuming at our friend for playing Overwatch and keeping us awake... I decided this was the last time that we would try to daytrip a Tahoe trip.

April: Finished paying off our Home Equity Loan!!! According to Gmail, this month I did a lot of stock trading and financial management

May: Hosted the Rutabaga party! It was such a blast where we all hunted for the rutabaga in the dishes and enjoyed lots of cheese and wine. It is also the month where I purchased our two blueberry plants as well as my favorite fig tree!

June: Vegas and lots of guilty buffet eating. We discovered the magic that is Overcooked. (Also officially became pod lead...)

July: We finally have walls everywhere!! Started to pain our house. hired our favorite contractor for our smooth walls, and endless paint splattering. Moved back into the living room to sleep. Almost choked to death in front of my sleeping husband from really ripe Xiang gua....

August: Pressure is on for parents' visit. We have floors everywhere!! No longer have to take off our shoes to walk around the house. All the square footage, now ours!!

September: Parents visited and had a blast. We made an unforgettable stop at Peacock farm near SLO, which was much fun. Lots of good food, though my husband must have been terribly stressed from getting the bathroom ready.

October: I really can't remember at all... Empathy day at Haye's Mansion?

November: Visited home and discovered one thing that I will now forever love about Richmond: Buz and Ned's smoked ribs. The best that I have ever had. Also ate so much lobster that I thought I was going to die...

December: Completed a very deep interview about my life. It really has affected me in ways that I didn't expect, perhaps for the good. I am very glad that I cut back my hours, though it is hard to let work go. Going on an impromptu trip to Seattle, and once again discovering amazing things that I love about that city. Nevermind the 9 hour trip to Vancouver that we made just to go to Ikea to find the Algot metal shelf. The worst part? They didn't have them in stock!!

Resolutions for 2019:
1. Take more photos. Trying to remember 2018 was very painful and I will have more photos this year to remember it.
2. Make a scrapbook. Now that I have a sticker photo printer...
3. Exercise more. Goal? Lose 10lbs.
4. Work less. Be okay with 9/10th work schedule
5. Be more organized in my life. Perhaps finally I will get a cleaner?

Little Emperor goes traveling

Little Emperor goes on a midnight walk at the Hong Kong night market. 

Little Emperor finds a tiny Hong Kong style cafe and enjoys dinner! He is impressed by how yummy Cantonese food tastes. 

The next day. Little Emperor woke up and had to do the one thing that must be done in Hong Kong, yong cha! 

After dim sum, the Little Emperor visited Victoria Peak, the highest peak in Hong Kong. He is so excited that he is jumping up and down!

On the way back to the hotel, Little Emepror discovered the congested railways that's friendly appearing. 

 Little Emperor at the tea pot museum!

 Little Emperor visits Macau, a city empowered by gambling. 

Being a student, 10 years later

Being a student after working for 3 years is not easy, especially taking 9 credits in 6 weeks and studying for possibly one of the most important exams in my career.

But as I am sitting here working on my weekly Intro to Epidemiology homework, I found it fascinating to compare to my student years 10 years ago in 2005. In 2005, I was merely a freshman, going on to become a sophomore. That summer I took Introduction to Physics I for Engineering Majors, which truly was a very dry but very concrete subject. I went to 4 hours of classes in the morning, did my homework in the afternoons and worked in between homework. I worked a part time job as a lab assistant, mostly doing simple preps and washing lab ware.

Contrast to now, 10 years later, I am taking Introduction to Biostats for Public Health, Introduction to Epidemology, and a Public Health Seminar. I go to class from 8 to 5 every day, work on homework in the evenings and weekends. In addition, every waking minute where I am not working on school work, I am studying for my ABIM board exam. In addition, I am also interviewing for jobs, tying up loose ends for employment and trying to put out fires on my research project. But then again, I am being paid at a rate of probably $18/hr as opposed to $7.5/hr, and I have health insurance benefits!

What I found even more fascinating is that 10 years ago, I would be doing my homework with my text book, lined loose leaf paper, pencil (or pen) in the library. I had a laptop at that time, with specs reading something like 40 gb (at most). Contrast to today, I am listening to recorded lectures on youtube, reading my professor's announcements on Canvas (an online classroom platform), taking notes in evernote, writing my homework in google docs, and all the while doing this on three monitors. All of my calculation I can do either with Excel or Stata, though I still have a scientific calculator that's only for exams.

Sitting inside the classroom, other students are taking notes with either their ipads, Mac books or a few with laptops. Contrast this to 10 years ago, where everyone except perhaps a privileged few took notes on their notebook.

But then, there's the difference where 10 years ago I lived 1 block from campus, and it took me 15 minutes to walk to class. Now I live 30 miles away from campus and takes me 1 hour or so to get to class... 

The difference is quite stark, but then again, as a good epidemiologist would say, while analyzing the relationship between era and education methods, this is being confounded by the fact that I am much older and am a working adult! This is, of course, only a short personal musing in between pages of Evernote, Google Docs, YouTube and Canvas.

Santiago, Day 1

Somehow, I underestimated the amount of effort to reach the Southern Hemisphere. Day 0 started from San Jose with a quick flight to LaX, a relatively long wait at LAX, then off on LAN 601, which is a Dreamliner aircraft! However, despite all the advertisement by the Everest Plant, the seat did not seem any more comfortable, though I imagine it's hard to make any almost 12 hours flight a comfortable one. 

However, I must say, provision of a USB port as well as a personalized screen was very useful. I managed to ball my eyes out with watching The Fault in Our Stars, which in addition to the lovely Riesling that I drank, made me look like I totally got too drunk...

Ignoring the odd lighting (the lighting on the Dreamliner is suppose to imitate different day lights), the meal was decent, with real utensils! The wine however, was quite excellent. Yep, I managed to chug 1.5 of those little glasses and turned quite pink, all the while sobbing my eyes out. 

Upon arrival, I learned that Chile is very strict with bringing food across the border. Apparently you had to declare all food products, which I did and the guy confiscated it... Won't even let me eat it! :(

Santiago is a beautiful city, a mix between modern and classical. It's summer time here, which did not seem so bad initially since I arrived in the morning, but when venturing at 1pm, it was 110F! Thank goodness it's not muggy like China cities, but the lack of air conditioning really gets to ya...

This is a view of my hotel room. there was a funny mix up where they thought I was a man, and placed me with my friend's husband. Upon arrival, I bring this up to the hotel person, who immediately called our guide and planner, Sergio. Part of their conversation went like: "She cannot stay with another woman's husband!" So after much sorting out and back and forth, I get a two bed room to myself! Teehee. Not that it matters much as there really isn't much to my cozy room. 

Of course, our adventures start with the subway, which surprisingly does not seem to have automatic ticket dispensers. I ended up buying a 660 ticket (off rush hour prices) with a 10,000 bill. Lots of paper and coins later, I ended up with my paper ticket. Chloe attempted to go through a senior/student only gate, which ejected her tickets and blared red at her until we saw the sign in English...

We made our way to the Mercado Central, which is near the Presidential Palace and found ourselves staring at fruit market stalls. This is the place that sells the same grapes that we are eating in America just a few days ago!! And, they taste much better (or so I think). We ended up buying 1 kg of white peach, which was delicious as it probably just came off the tree a few days ago!

One of the first things we noticed was this lovely looking drink, being sold at stalls all over the place. 

A sweet peachy drink, filled with roasted barley and half of a peach. Not sure what it's called, but at 700 pesos for a medium cup, not bad!

Exploring for lunch took quite a while, as the area of the Mercado market (which is a fish market) had many tourist eateries, and looked entirely too westernized. Instead, we found a cozy restaurant to the side, where the waitress didn't speak English and the menu said things like "lard beef", "salmon grilled to the butler." 

But of course, we must start with the Anthony Bourdain recommended starter of Pisco sour, which is a drink mixed with Pisco, a Chilean grape brandy that is rather sweet, mixed with small amounts of tiny lemons. It tasted like a lemonade with a hint of alcohol, initially sweet on the tongue but sour with the finish. Salute, mes amigos! Hahahaha! 

The bread to the side is a rather flat yeast bread, quite light on the fats, to be eaten dipped in that quite spicy salsa. 

Of course, still savoring the taste of Ceviche in Mexico from 4 years ago, Larry and I were dead set on ordering the sea bass ceviche, which looked quite different from what we were expecting. Nonetheless, the half cooked sea bass is still marinated in lemon juice and onions, topped with fresh cilantro. I still loved it regardless!

Ordering for lunch was quite an ordeal. The menu was fairly extensive at first, with scallops, squid, sea urchin, fishies galore, much bewildering to our untrained eyes. After a while though, we determined that the menu truly consisted of small tapas with various seafood, and fish of different types, either fried, grilled or "fried to the butler." (Whatever that means!!) Larry asked our Spanish speaking waitress to recommend something, which turns out to be the deep fried congri fish. Though Larry may seem displeased in the picture, the fish was quite tasty! Chloe and I both ended up ordering the reinita fish, mine grilled and hers deep fried. We finished the meal at $27,000, which equals about 40 USD? Not bad for a meal for three with drinks and appetizer, ya? 

Following trekking through a small part of Santiago for 2 hours in the hot sun, we returned to our hotel and all napped for 2 hours. Then the adventure for dinner starts! The area that we are staying in, which is around the Republica stop, does not offer a lot of food, but certainly offers enough. Thanks to trip advisor, we found this cozy Masqueria Tahiti restaurant to explore some more seafood options! 

Dinner was joined by two new friends on our journey, and thus the feasting begins. 

Pisco sours? Check. Slightly dry and mostly tasteless bread? Check. Giganto lemons? Check. Spicy salsa? Check. Above completes the premeal set up. This restaurant is definitely heavier on the Pisco, and after 4 sips, I was starting to feel oozy... 

This flaming pot of seafood should be on the recommended list for must eats in Santiago. Because of the extensive coastline, seafood here is plentiful, fresh and in all varieties. In this Paella Marina, there must be 5 different kinds of shell fish + albacore + shrimp + octopus + fish + seaweed. Not sure what the flame is all about, but it sure made a hot and salty, but flavorful soup! Now, of course, trying to figure out how to order a flaming bowl of soup in a language we do not speak is an adventure in itself. In between describing the flame, the bowl and trying to order it, Jeff also made a circular motion, and we set in contemplation if we would end up receiving one flaming bowl, or instead set the restaurant on fire with one flaming bowl each! Thankfully, our awesome Chilean waiters figured out needs and the restaurant was saved from a raging fire! 

And of course, more seafood! My ceviche was served with just as many kinds of seafood, and for such a protein heavy meal, it was quite filling! And the total above, $65,000 peso (tip included). Definitely not cheap by third world country standards, but we are definitely living it up! 

Alright, time to settle for the night, wash off the unbelievable amount of dirt that had managed to settle on my sweaty skin and start a new day of adventure tomorrow! 

The mixed feelings of coming home

When I woke up this morning, it took me a minute to realize that I was home. But when I did, it finally hit me that I am home and that I am so happy to be home. I never realized that I missed the sunlight streaming through my windows, the quiet sound of cars and the quiet tickings that goes on in my apartment. The softness of the light, the familiarity of the space, everything that I took for granted. It is with delight to open my closet and discover my things. It is like finding memories again. I have so much clothes!

Certainly, there is a certain amount of fear of coming back home, as I have also gone through this process many times. Readjusting back to a life that I walked away for a month. Realizing new perspectives on things that I took for granted (like my own apartment). Constantly wanting to share my own excitement about my trip yet unable for relate to others the wonders that I have seen. Finding out that my friends have moved on with their lives and knowing that I was not part of that for a whole month. These are all part of the reverse cultural shock aspect. I was actually dreading it all for the past two days, but the overwhelming happiness that I experienced this morning will keep me going in spite of it all. I won't forget that moment when I opened my eyes and saw the sun, the sound of cars in the distance and the happy faces of my stuffed animals. 

Bakeries in Da Nang: Where to find Banh Mi in Da Nang

I love baked goods. Perhaps it's my sugar addiction, perhaps it's the fact that baked goods evoke the image of happiness as cakes are often associated with celebration, but I found that bakeries are the perfect complement to cafes. Vietnam is also the home of the incredible invention of Banh Mi sandwiches, so of course, this became a stable in our breakfast while in Da Nang. 

Couple a nice crunchy and salty banh mi with a cafe sua da or a sweet and milky bac siu, this makes the perfect fulfilling breakfast. 

Unlike Banh Mi back home, the Banh Mi here all have mayo and pate as a base, with various meats or fried egg added, and also shredded papaya, leafy greens and cucumber. Then after all the ingredients added, a soup is drizzled over the contents. 

Our favorite place to buy Banh Mi is from a bakery on Le Loi, between Phan Dinh Phung and Le Yuan and next door to Molly's coffee. The beauty of this place is that it is located on our way to the hospital, and they have a cafe in it so we can buy coffee on the same go. Their business is frequently very busy as lots of local people tend to run in and buy large orders to go. As clumsy foreigners who takes forever to order, we frequently have to wait for the locals' larger orders to be fulfilled before our order goes through...

In addition to being sold in bakeries, Banh Mi are sold in portable carts in the streets. I have never tried one there as we are quite fond of the ones in the bakeries, but those are quite popular. 

There are quite a few choices of the meat used. We just order the standard thit, though there a few other choices of differently prepared meats as well as fried egg, which seems to be a popular choice. 

I am also a fan of breads and other pastries. Our favorite bakery happens to be just behind our hotel. 

HuongNam bakery is located on Tran Phu between Phan Dinh Phung and Hung Vuong. They are quite popular locally for their cakes, but I like them for their pastries. 

Pastries in general tend to fall under the pricier side, but also makes for a delicious breakfast. 

This is my favorite pastry of theirs. It is a very simple puff pastry with a layer of frosting on top and pastry cream in the middle. 

Their mouse cakes though! Quite something! This is the caramel mousse cake. Staring from the bottom, a thin layer of standard chiffon, then a layer of chocolate ganache, then a layer of chiffon, then another layer of mousse, then chiffon, then top off with caramel mousse. Mouth watering deliciousness!

This is their coffee mousse. Also equally as intricate and equally as good! 

The place where we get Banh Mi at, also sells baked goods as well, but my favorite thing about HuongNam's is that it is quite clean. Compare to the other places we visited, this bakery make sites everything is in a sealed storage environment and there are no flies or ants   The pastry cream is stored in the fridge until buying to make sure it is chilled. Definitely one of my favorite bakeries!

Goodbye Da Nang

As I wrap up my one month stay in Da Nang, we decided to try to eat at some of our favorite places, including getting Mi Quang (though Binh was closed...), cafe sua Da, Bac xíu and Oi xi muoi at Velo. We aspired to also get Banh Mi to go, but it got to be too much. 

Most places were still closed for Tet, but the sun was shining and the weather was warm, which left me with a lasting memory of the Da Nang river shining with the under the sun.

This was a trip of self realizations, experience, gluttony and of course, meeting some beautiful people. We made friends with some of the doctors at the hospital, and I was really sad to say goodbye to the Fulmar hotel staff. 

I am very glad my friend came with me as it is lonely and so much harder for me to be an adventuring spirit without her. It was nice for her to observe me and give me feedback that I will incorporate both professionally and personally. I really must be more careful with choosing my words and understand the implication of what I say and do and the effects on others. 

There were many times where I was angry and frustrated during my trip. It made me realize the attachment that I have to things which are familiar and that I definitely experience cultural shock everytime I move despite having had so many moves in the past. I really must be more open minded about experiencing hardships and not underestimating my own ability to adapt to my environment. Also, I have been humbled by my own ability to plan and take care of details. The frustrations that I experienced both in the initial Hoi An trip and the Angkor trip taught me to think twice about making a plan. 

In the more positive light, I hope that I can continue to hone my Vietnamese and also work on cooking Vietnamese cuisine. I also will continue to seek out another global health experience. I think there are certain things that can be lacking by going as a resident and that my next trip would be better if it was a medical mission trip rather than a learning experience. I would like to return to a country that I know better as I will be more useful, though I would like to experience what Cambodian people really live like as well. 

As far as traveling, this trip made me realize that I am not particularly found of sightseeing and being a tourist. Man made wonders are great for pictures, but I like to read about the cultural significance outside of the wonder. But looking back, I do appreciate natural beauty more, namely the Safari and biking through the Angkor to experience the Cambodian natural scenery was mor appealing to me than the temples themselves. I must visit Salar de Uyuni someday!